On it like a bonnet

I gained a couple of pounds when I went in for the weigh-in this morning. Eeep. This was an accident though, because I transposed the numbers when I first met with the dietitian so I thought I lost weight. Oh, wells.

I'm using this fab app called MyFitnessPal. It's on iOS, Android, and Kindle Fire so I have a copy on all of my devices and they all sync. Loves it. It also has a nutrition label scanner so that while I'm in meetings, I can scan my Wawa banana smoothie rather than look like I'm texting and not paying attention. Which is, of course, what I am doing.

Nice job, turdface

Today I sucked on day 1 of thin life. I had OJ, sushi, apple, and some carrots. Then for dinner I had a footlong Subway tuna hoagie and 4 slices of my mint choco orange. If i'd only had half of my hoagie, i'd be legit.

Good luck, tomorrow.

The only time that math is fun

How to substitute in baking


You guys. I don't make cakes with silly things like eggs or butter or milk or oil. That involves me going to the grocery store. Ever since I learned about Diet Coke cakes from Weight Watcher days, I've always substituted. I've never gone back. Except for making my sister's birthday cake because she is annoying and a purist and thinks Diet Coke cakes are ludicrous. Whateva.


Yes, my weight-watching, calorie-counting friends. You can substitute all the ingredients typically needed to make box cake mix with a diet soda. I swear! One 12-ounce can per box of mix. So when I'm making cupcakes just for me, I divide my box mix. Typical box mixes have 12 servings. 


So I take the weight of the mix (18.25 ozs) divided by the number of the servings (12).


18.25 / 12 = 1.520833333333-forever.


Then while I have that number in the calculator, I times that by the number of servings I want to make (I wanted to do six because I'm fat and will eat them all this weekend).


1.520833333333-forever x 6 = 9.125. 


Now you smarties out there are saying if I wanted half, just divide the weight by half. True. And that is actually what I did tonight. But I just wanted to show you how to divide it individually in case your stomach is smaller. Anyhoo, I have a food scale so I used that to measure out the amount of mix I needed.


When it comes to the diet soda, you use one 12-oz can per box mix. Which happens to serve 12 people. Convenient, right? Secret genius on the part of cake mix makers and soda makers. Thus, One ounce per one serving of cake mix.


1 x 6 = 6 (!!! I love My Dear Aunt Sally [If you don't know what that means, ask in the comments bc I'd love to know what you might possibly think it is.])


Mixa mixa, you make-a the cake-a. Bake as normal and enjoy the most delicious, moist cake you've ever tasted. And you just saved yourself 


([half a cup of veg oil, 960 cals] + [water, 0 cals] + [three eggs, 210 cals]) / [number of servings, 12])=


97.5 calories per serving!!!


Times that amazing number by the number of servings you're eating and I am saving


585 calories!!!


A normal box prepared "normally" is 3240 calories. A box prepared my way is


1020 calories!!!


Thus for half a cake, I am only eating


510 calories instead of 1620!!!


Now. The fact that I am eating half a cake is another issue for another day. :(

Will... It... Fit!

This is my favorite game. Every single morning. I need to start picking out my clothes the night before because I just don't have time for this stress before work. Doubly so if I pick door #2 and it doesn't fit.

Thank God for some reason I have a group of magic clothes. I thought for sure this skirt wouldn't fit. But I asked, Will it fit? Surprisingly... yes. I have no idea how. This skirt is a size 8 from Banana, like 10 years ago. Which means it's now a modern size 6 (at least). You guys know me and know that I'm nowhere near that size. No. Where. (See: Fashion Bug)

Anyhoodle, I'm very happy I can put this skirt into the keep pile to get me through my fatness until I'm my sister's size and we can share clothes!